I can’t have him because he’s my older brother’s best friend. I can’t have him because I broke his heart five years ago; because he’s now engaged to someone else-someone kind and dependable who deserves his whiskey eyes, his soft mouth, his fierce intellect.

I can’t have Elijah because I’ve chosen God instead.

The Bell brothers, though . . . well, we don’t exactly have the greatest track record with vows. But I’m determined to do this monk thing right-to pledge myself to a cloistered life and spend the rest of my years in chastity and prayer.